"The Mostly Balanced Diet: Because Life’s Too Short for Sad Salads"
Let’s cut through the noise: You don’t need another article telling you to drink celery juice or quit carbs cold turkey. (Bread is life. We know.) Instead, let’s talk about real-world nutrition for people who want to feel good without turning meals into a math equation.
The "No PhD Required" Nutrition Crash Course
🍗 Protein: The stuff that keeps you from murdering someone before lunch.
- Real talk sources: Rotisserie chicken, scrambled eggs, peanut butter spoonfuls (we see you)
🍞 Carbs: Your brain’s favorite fuel (and the reason you don’t nap at your desk).
- MVP picks: Pasta (whole wheat if you’re fancy), bananas, popcorn (it’s a vegetable if you squint)
🥑 Fats: What makes food actually taste good.
- Hero ingredients: Avocado (nature’s butter), olive oil, dark chocolate (antioxidants, baby!)
The "Mostly Balanced Plate" (No Food Scales Needed)
- ½ Plate: Veggies (or fruit if you’re rebellious)
- ¼ Plate: Protein (see: rotisserie chicken obsession)
- ¼ Plate: Carbs (preferably the kind that doesn’t spark guilt)
- ✨ Bonus: A drizzle/dollop of fat because flavor matters
Example: Tacos. (Yes, tacos count. You’re welcome.)
Hydration for People Who Forget Water Exists
- ☕ Coffee counts (until you’ve had 4 cups… then maybe switch to H2O).
- 🥤 Try sparkling water + a splash of juice (aka "fancy water").
- 🍉 Eat your water (watermelon, cucumbers—nature’s hydration hacks).
The 80/20 Rule (Because Perfection is Exhausting)
- 80% of the time: Eat foods that make your body feel good.
- 20% of the time: Eat the damn cake. No apologies.
Remember: Stress ruins digestion more than that slice of pizza ever could.
Final Thought
Nutrition isn’t about rules—it’s about not feeling like garbage after every meal. So eat the veggies. Eat the fries. And most importantly? Enjoy the heck out of it.